Monday, November 25, 2013

To Care, or Not to Care … that is the Question!

After I have been blessed to become ordained, and move out into the real world of ministry, how much of my time shall be dedicated to pastoral care? This, of course, will depend on the size of the church that I become a part of, and my ministry there; how many well-trained staff and qualified volunteers are available; and many other factors associated with my new church.  Yet before deciding this, and certainly outside of any senior minister directives, I should first have a good sense of what my pastoral theology is, and how I understand and define what style, type, and level of involvement of pastoral care that I perform for my congregants.
A discussion as to whether or not pastoral care is actually necessary in today's church is not required, for as Dr. Tom has incisively pointed out, "we have clearly established biblically, historically, and existentially the need for pastoral care …" A question that remains though is: what role we as metaphysical Christian ministers should undertake in our spiritual counseling sessions with our flock.
            First, it could be easily suggested that any counseling should be under the purview of psychology, and that as ministers we are predominantly teachers, not professional counselors. Yet in my experience as a licensed Religious Science spiritual practitioner, the people that I was blessed to work with were indeed expecting spiritual or pastoral counseling; which would include not only establishing and developing an ongoing caring human relationship that expresses sincere interest in their wellbeing, but also provided support and comfort in times of need, teaching based on spiritual principles, and direction in terms of the resources available in the church and in the greater community. And since people seem determined to continue in engaging their religious leaders and ministers in times of need, the focus should not be on whether or not to engage in metaphysical counseling, but to work to become more effective in utilizing basic counseling skills to assist our congregants.
            Second, it may seem that in pastoral counseling the minister’s primary practical goal is to empower an individual to release their imprisoned splendor from within. We just focus our people to the God within them, and the rest is up to the individual. I appreciate Dr. Tom's correlation of a minister as a coach working with their team: "Actually, the analogy of a coach working with a team is wholly appropriate to understand pastor – parishioner relationships." In this manner, a coach may need to work more one-on-one with some players than with others, with the overall goal of raising the effectiveness and performance of the entire team. One thing, of course, that a minister as coach would not do, is to tell someone what is his or hers to believe and to accomplish. The coach’s role here is focused on helping each player call it forth from within.
            Third, it is possible that long–term counseling may create a dependency in those being counseled. Yes, that could be true, but as Dr. Tom astutely points out, "Even Jesus Christ needed parents to get started." So there is a need for watch care during the counseling for this possibility of dependency, and the need for clear guidelines in the church around counseling sessions and fees for these services. Yet if we are to care, and to express concern, kindheartedness, and understanding, there must be engagement; and this may at times require longer-term counseling.

In a simplistic way, the difference between psychological counseling and pastoral counseling is this: the psychologist cures and the minister cares. And so many times in our lives, and in the lives of those we meet throughout our ministerial days, caring is at the top of the list. How much caring shall I do? Working within reasonable boundaries and maintaining proper self-care … as much as I possibly can.

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